October 5, 2011

Personal Demands


The soundtrack for today’s creativity was Saul Williams’ List of Demands (Reparations).

I woke up this morning and felt removed from creating 4 mediocre pages.  I spent a lot of time last night thinking about how to STOP thinking about why those pages didn’t work.  I finally ended up reading an e-book to help distract me before I fell asleep at 2am.

After the normal morning routine passed, I finally hooked my phone to the big stereo and played List of Demands (Reparations). The lyrics that echoed through my brain were found in the chorus.  Saul writes:

         I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands
 I ball my fist and you gon’ know where I stand
 We living hand to mouth, you want to be somebody?
 See somebody?  Try and free somebody?

The rocking tempo and chaotic pulsing of the song creates a rebellious mood that is also critical of my yesterday.  Toward the end of the song there is a baby crying that reminds me that I better not be joining her in the form of a duet.  I started reading everything I had written up to the point where my four pages ended up being lower quality.  I had my own list of demands for today.

While sitting in the in the brown chair that allows for some rocking, but isn’t a rocking chair, I wanted to demand my brain work to figure out how to do something with those 4 pages.  They needed to be filtered to find any gold I may have created.  I wanted to demand that my hands did what they needed to do on the keyboard.  I wanted to write so future readers would know where I stand instead of me questioning if the writing was good enough.  With the recent loss of my job, living hand to mouth can be a reality of the future.  Clearly, any writing I did today needed to have a sense of urgency. I don’t have time to waste on writing.  Plus, my right thumb is bothering me from using the side of it to constantly push on the space bar.…

Then I wrote a little while answering Saul's question about if I want to be somebody?

Yes!  I am somebody, but I have goals of expanding that somebody.  The character is working on figuring out what/who he wants to be.  It seems we are both enduring demanding times in our lives.

Saul's chorus  asked if I wanted to see somebody?

Yes! I even wrote of relaxing on the O lady’s couch in Chicago.

He questioned, Try and free somebody?

Yes!  That list is too long to write…

With my own understanding and twisting of those lyrics, I set out to continue to build.  At that point, I'm talking to myself (Yeah, I talk to myself when I write!) and listenting to the voices of Wrinkes and Grandma Wilbur while I type their conversation on the page.  Meanwhile, I don’t hear any of Saul’s lyrics anymore.  He's still talking, but Wrinkles, Grandma Wilbur and I are drowning him out.  The driving beat is accelerating the dialogue that I am thinking, reading, and changing to make it fit with what was previously written.  Words are finding their way on the page and the 4 pages has been trimmed down to two pages. 

The conflict from yesterday that would not fit in with my plans for the book was now eliminated and I could start rewording some of the previous nine pages that I had written a few years ago.  Though I am not married to those nine pages, I think they could work well with a few small changes.  I look at them as clues to help me to the finish line.

So, in three hours I had managed to combine the 10 pages I wrote on Monday and Tuesday (which was really 8 after I rewrote that mess from yesterday), with 8 pages from the past.  I sprinkled in today’s demands for progress and I am resting at 26 pages of total written progress.  I am at the point where Wrinkles has broken through some of his barriers and the main characters are getting back together to begin working on how to tackle this problem.
I also created a bit of a dilemma for myself.  I gave Wrinkles until the end of the month to solve his problem.  To be fair, I also am giving myself until the end of the month to finish this book.  The challenge is on. 

In other book related news:  Stay Tuned…


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